Being a First Time Mom: One Small Thing a Day Keeps the Loony Bin Away

We have an amazing guest blogger with us today, Roxana Oliver. Please make her feel welcome! We hope to have more of her witty stories to share in the future!


When I first got pregnant I was on a 5-year-plan, one of those plans where you know exactly when you want things, how you want them and will not let them slip out of your hands. A green building designer on the rise, with a gorgeous husband and a lovely home we had purchased, we found out we were pregnant. Ha! I was over the moon! But, I was planning to go back to work as soon as I stopped breastfeeding and never let the game of parenting outplay me. After all, I had busted my as* off to get where I was at that point, so why would I abandon it all, right?

However, like it happens with most 5-year-plans and most parents – it kind of fell through. I fell head over heels in love with my beautiful baby daughter and decided to cut back on my working hours so she could have me around as much as possible. She is 3 now and as the days go by I can see her looking more and more like John, my husband – so gorgeous! She’s got my lips, though (thank God for that, John’s are pretty thin :D)!

Every day we spend together is an adventure, and a pretty exhausting one if I’ll admit. If it’s not running around, then it’s running after her.  If it’s not learning new stuff where we actually get a moment to sit down then it’s the endless slide of questions that keep coming, and God help me I have no idea where from! Don’t get me wrong, I feel blessed every day for having her but at times, I feel like I am one step away from breaking! Is that a wrong thing to admit?  Maybe. But, it’s just us girls here, and we’re in the same or similar situation I’ll imagine – so, girl confessions are in order!

Why didn’t anyone ever tell us how draining, demanding and focused parenting is? The overwhelming sense of responsibility? Sure, I was aware that comes with a child, sort of a package deal. Still, nobody’s ever told me it will take up this much of my energy! And honestly, multitasking different projects at work, a relationship, friends, family, the gym… it all seems so light in comparison to all the parenting I do lately… phew! But then, my little sunshine smiles at me and it’s a reward enough for the entire craziness around her upbringing.

I got lucky that John is so supportive and understanding; he’ll help out whenever he can, he spends time with us as much as his work lets him and it was a few months ago that I was on the verge of just cracking when his secretary (also a full-time mom of a super adorable little Sarah who is 10 now) told me about this mental health retreat she went to when she was a first-time-mom. I was obviously reluctant and defensive about it, thinking it’s a looney bin where they have you on meds and what not, but she convinced me it was the best thing that happened to her! The professionals working there are concerning with helping you put the pieces back together and go back to being your awesome self. So, I tried it and guess what – loved it! So, my dear mommy-friends, I am now recommending this amazing place if you are one step away from slitting your wrists instead of shaving your legs (I am kidding, I am kidding!). But all jokes aside – this place is amazing! It’s helped me realize I am not a bad mother even though I felt like it; they’ve helped me reconnect with myself and taught me it’s okay not to be able to juggle it all.

Now, I am a better parent than I ever thought I’d be. I decided to do a small thing daily for myself. Small stuff – doing my nails, taking a long walk, or simply stuffing my face with ice-cream in front of my favorite trash TV show. We are even considering another baby…. Just don’t spread the word yet, we’re still… well, just working on it – if you know what I mean! 😉

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