Love Should Not Hurt – ever. Unfortunately, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women – more than car accidents, muggings, and rape combined. Every 9 seconds in the United States a woman is assaulted or beaten. Worldwide, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Everyday in the United States, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends. Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55% and 95% of women who have been physically abused by their partners have never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help. (Statistics courtesy of DomesticViolenceStatistics.org)
Erin Sluka brings you Love Should Not Hurt: Letting Go of the Pain to Live in Freedom, one woman’s story of being a domestic violence survivor.
As a Domestic Violence Survivor, I had kept my past a secret from many. I had put on a smile to hide my pain and kept a distance from those who I felt could see through the façade. Eventually, I realized that my emotions were bigger than I could handle on my own and I decided to finally get honest with myself and others and tell my story. This is a book about escaping the emotional prison to find freedom. Despite what has led you to shut out those around you, this book reminds you that you are not alone.
My Personal Domestic Violence Experiences
It is extremely hard to believe in yourself once you’ve been trapped in a domestic violence situation. Your self-worth begins to erode, you begin to believe all the negativity about yourself that is heaped on you by your abuser. You begin to feel hopeless, worthless, a nothing. You’re trapped in a cycle and most likely disconnected from family and friends at the hands of your abuser. You feel all alone. You are NOT alone.
For many years, I suffered physical beatings, emotional and verbal abuse, even sexual abuse at times. I felt hopeless, as though I were just an object to be used and abused at the hands of my abuser and at his whim. When he was done with me I was tossed aside and ignored. I was able to break the cycle and while not completely healed, I am in a better place, emotionally and physically because I had the strength to reach out and ask for the help that I needed.
So many of the women that I know and love have dealt with domestic violence as well. On December 5, 2013, a fellow blogger, Christine Keith of Adventures of a Thrifty Mama, lost her life at the hands of her estranged husband, Randy Keith. He shot and killed her and then turned the gun on her 14-year-old son, Isaac Miller, and then proceeded to shoot himself in a double-murder suicide.
How to Begin Healing from the Hurt
Erin explains exactly how domestic violence affected her life, even after she was able to leave her abuser. How the after effects of domestic violence encroached on her marriage. It is not easy to leave an abuser, it is not easy to regain yourself afterwards if you are lucky enough to escape. Erin and I both strongly recommend talking with a professional, but we also understand that this is not always a viable option for women who may have no insurance or no job. There are organizations out there to help you.
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or you can find a listing by state or territory coalitions locally from the National Network to End Domestic Violence at http://nnedv.org./resources/coalitions.html. They can put you in touch with someone who can help you escape the cycle of violence and help you get your life back.
Where to Find Erin
You can find Erin’s book at Amazon.com now – available for download as an e-book or you can buy the paperback version. The paperback is on sale for $5.39, or you can buy the Kindle edition for just $2.99. If you are signed up for Kindle Unlimited, you can read the book absolutely free. Sign up for Kindle Unlimited and receive your first 30 days free and pay just $9.99 a month afterwards to enjoy over 600,000 titles and audiobooks absolutely free.
Be sure to check out the book blog – Love Should Not Hurt Book – and read Chapter 2 absolutely free. In addition, Erin regularly blogs at Parenting Healthy, a blog about raising a healthy, active, and happy family of three boys. When Erin isn’t spending time with her boys, you can find her on Twitter or on the Love Should Not Hurt Facebook fan page, doing what she does best – talking with others about domestic violence and offering help and advice for those still trapped in a situation.
I am going to be perfectly honest with you, Erin’s book hit home for me, and I cried throughout most of the early chapters, and cheered when she managed to walk away from her situation. Not everyone is able to walk away without a confrontation, but I thoroughly enjoyed how Erin regained her freedom in a way that involved no violence and (eventually) had a happy ending.
If you are in a domestic violence relationship, or have recently left an abuser, I highly recommend this book to you. Packed with personal experiences, she shows you how to regain your self-esteem, your self-worth, your self-love once again. Love Should Not Hurt: Letting Go of the Pain to Live in Freedom gets a 5-star rating from us.
- Domestic Violence Takes One of Our Own: Christine Keith (lifeinahouse.net)
- For Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Remember That Love Doesn’t Hurt (blogher.com)
- Domestic Violence: Are We Finally Talking About It? (blogher.com)
- A TED Talk on Domestic Abuse (juliedeneen.com)
- Straight, No Chaser: Domestic Violence – How to Get Out of an Abusive Situation (jeffreysterlingmd.com)