Facing Mortality

Arterial Doppler Testing

I don’t normally like to get all morbid and down on the blog, but quite frankly – I’m worried about my man thing.

He went and had an Arterial Doppler test performed on both of his legs on Monday and we received the test results back late this evening.

He has blockage in both of his legs and, while the doctor doesn’t “think” that this is what is causing the pain to his legs, she is concerned enough about the problem to have increased his cholesterol medication and told him to quit smoking or things are only going to get worse and go downhill a lot faster.

He tried to quit with the patches – caused him severe hallucinations and strange dreams and did not mix well with the other medications he is currently taking and just made him angry and mean all day long for the week he was on the patches. He cannot take Chantix either – as it will produce much of the same issues with the current medications he is taking. So all that is left is either going cold turkey or hypnosis.

Being a stay-at-home-mom this worries me. He doesn’t think about his own mortality or, if he does, he’s not said anything to me about it other than a comment a few weeks ago wondering how much life insurance he has all together and whether it would be enough to “cover everything” and leave the kids with a little something afterwards. I don’t have a job, and (God forbid) anything should happen to him right this minute – we would be up the proverbial creek without a paddle. Homeless and destitute in a heartbeat basically.

We are not getting any younger. As much as I hate to think about it, face it – the time has come when we both need to get our final affairs in order. Make out a will, decide who will do what, take care of what, and try to determine just how long I would be able to support the boys and I on his insurance policy before needing to find a full-time position doing something.

I hate to think that way because he is such a “go getter” type of person. He goes and goes from the time he gets up until he goes to sleep in the evenings. Whatever needs doing he does, regardless of how he is feeling. I just can’t even IMAGINE anything happening to him.

I suppose its time to add that “call the attorney to discuss our wills” item to our to do list. Makes me wish we were back in our 30s again and not having to worry about such things yet.

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    • That’s something I’m thinking about having him try … maybe hypnosis as well {for both of us!} … anything and everything that might help. We just need a bit of time and lots of prayers. I don’t care if he has to go hungry for a few days either till he adjusts – I’m cutting out the white carbs that he’s so damned determined to eat constantly (white bread, potatoes, rice, etc.) on a daily basis – multiple times – and switching him to whole wheat and other full grain breads and pastas and rice. As I research all of this stuff, I’ll be blogging about it as well so if anyone else is facing this issue, hopefully it will help them too.

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