So you are on your favorite dating site and you have spotted the profile of someone absolutely amazing. You love their photos, the witty responses in their profile section make you giggle and you have a lot of interests in common with them. You almost get lost in a fantasy of walking down a sandy white beach with them hand in hand and kissing in the sunshine when you realize – you have no idea what to message them. What should you say to get them interested in you?
Messaging people on a dating website can be tricky. Even though you both know why you are there, sometimes the first message can be awkward and can get things off to a rocky start. If you come across as too desperate, strange or creepy – the person will probably not even respond.
There are many things you need to think about when dating and for more info about online dating you can follow Global Personals on Twitter. So what should you say in your first message to someone on an online dating website then? Here are some valuable tips to keep in mind.
Don’t Be Too Generic
You might be tempted to say something pretty boring and ordinary, such as “Hey, you look fun and interesting and I would love to chat with you sometime. Message me back!”
If the person you are messaging is attractive, the chances are that they probably have an inbox full of messages just like that. Your message won’t stand out from the crowd and it won’t help them to remember you.
Don’t Write a Novel
Your first message should be short and sweet. If you write a long message with multiple paragraphs, the person might think it is strange that you would invest so much time into a stranger. Also, they might be too busy or not interested enough to read it. Instead, you should write a short message that only consists of a few sentences.
Don’t Grovel at Their Feet
Writing something like, “You are so incredibly beautiful and if I were with you I would dedicate my life to making you feel amazing every day,” is a bit strange. People don’t want to hear over the top messages of adoration and worship from total strangers (unless they are very narcissistic). Most people realise that this is insincere and is a ploy to attract them. It is okay to give a compliment, but don’t insist that you would crawl a mile over broken glass just for the privilege of cooking the dinner.
Comment on Something in Their Profile
A great way to start a conversation is to look at their profile and make a comment about it. This shows them that you are not just sending the same “hey baby” message to everyone on the dating website. For example, if they say they like a specific somewhat obscure band you can say “Hey, so you like (Band name)? Finally another person who likes their music, it’s hard to find other fans!”
Of course, you should only use something that you actually have in common. If you lie about sharing a hobby to get a date, the person will figure it out later and they will be annoyed that you lied to them.
Use Proper Spelling and Grammar
Make sure that you spell check and re-read your message before you send it. Spelling mistakes and grammatical errors will make you look lazy and unintelligent and therefore less desirable. If the dating website doesn’t have a spell check feature, you can write your message in Microsoft Word first to double-check it.
Avoid Being Overly Sexual in the First Message
If you start the conversation with a message about what you want to do with them in the bedroom, it can be somewhat creepy and off-putting. Keep the first message PG, so that you can work on building up a rapport and getting to know each other. Let the flirtatious tension build and the sexual connection be unspoken, you can always turn up the heat and start flirting in a sexual way later on.
Take the Hint
One of the things that people hate most about others on dating sites is when they are too persistent and they don’t take a hint. If the person that you message says no and declines your invitation, you shouldn’t persist and try to convince them – it will only make them want to push further away.
These are just a few tips to keep in mind when you are sending that important first message on a dating website. Good luck!