No one wants to go through a divorce. No one enters a marriage expecting it to fail. Unfortunately, this sort of thing does happen. Statistically, 20% of first marriages end in divorce after the first five years and 48% of marriages end when they hit the twenty-year mark. It’s not always infidelity that leads to a couple splitting, sometimes couples can just grow apart over the years.
People can change over the years; things can get in the way and sometimes you just end up being in a relationship because it’s a lot easier than facing the reality of it all. But no matter how hard it is, it is always best to do the right thing and divorce, particularly if your marriage is making you unhappy. It will be hard, almost everyone who has been through a divorce can tell you this, however, there are a few things that you can do to help the process run smoothly.
Don’t Seek Revenge
It can be incredibly easy to let your emotions run away with you. Your emotions are all over the place and you are hurting. Try not to attack your ex, particularly if you have to take them to court. If you are divorcing them because they cheated on you, then you will want to hurt them back. However, this doesn’t help you get everything you want, and you might regret it in the future.
Just try and be the better person and remember that there was once a reason why you were with this person. There was a reason why you loved them. Courts aren’t going to get involved in the nitty-gritty parts of your relationship and why it failed. All revenge means is that your divorce will be very expensive, and it won’t be as satisfying as you think. So, it’s a lot better to avoid revenge altogether and be the bigger person.
Be Cooperate and Communicate with Each Other
Communication is key when it comes to settling your divorce. Sitting down and speaking with your soon to be ex-partner may be the last thing that you want to do, but cooperation and communication make for an easier divorce for everyone. If you are worried that tensions might be high and that you would be able to communicate what you want exactly, then you should make sure that you have a good lawyer involved (like these Caribbean Lawyers). Involving a lawyer will ease some of the pressure off from you and you won’t feel like you are being left out of important things.
They can deal with all the legal requirements and you can just tell them what you want. If you are worried that you won’t remember everything that you want to talk about, then the best form of communication is getting things written down. Before you even involve a lawyer, you should calmly talk to your soon to be ex via email or something, as this way you have a sort of “script” that you and your lawyers can work with and you won’t have to deal with all the emotions that come with talking face to face.
What to Do If Kids are Involved?
If you and your partner have kids together, then this can make getting divorced a lot harder. Divorce can be a traumatic experience for children; however, research suggests that children adjust within two years. However, children adjust a lot quicker when parents are amicable with one another and are kept away from any conflict. Again, communication is an important factor when it comes to divorce. You should make sure to come up with a plan and present it to your children. Let them know that they can talk to you at any point and make sure you update them when needed. You don’t want to make things harder for them by just excluding them.
Divorces can become incredibly messy so it’s best to just try and be the better person. Remember to take care of yourself and don’t be overwhelmed as you go through all the divorce procedures. With time, things will get a lot better. You just have to have patience and know that you have made the right choice. Just check out this article about being happy after a divorce here, hopefully, that gives you a bit more hope that everything will be fine in the end.