Helping Your Child Come Out of Their Shell

Every child is different and according to how they grow up, they will develop a personality that reflects their experiences. A child that is a little different from the rest of the kids at school, the neighborhood or family and friends, is nothing to be alarmed about. Many children will develop their own way in the beginning so don’t worry too much. However, it’s good parenting to help your child become more of an individual right from the get-go.

There’s nothing wrong with a child that likes to play by themselves, but get to the heart of the matter and it could be a lack of social skills causing them to veer in that direction. Getting your young child to come out of their shell is easier than you think, it’s the technique and patience needed that is complicated. 

Loner child? Support their interests

Maybe the teacher has pulled you aside one afternoon and told you something quirky about your child. Your son or daughter, doesn’t really hang out or play with the other kids in kindergarten. They like to be by themselves. First of all, there’s nothing wrong with that and it’s important to convey this to your child; otherwise, it can come off as critical judgment. Start off by supporting their interests, because very often loner children like to do things that other kids don’t. Maybe when it’s playtime, your child likes to read rather than play with toys.  

Speak to them about this and buy some more books for them. Don’t start asking questions that begin with ‘why’, just get to know what they like to do. The more you support their interests, the more common it will feel for them. Then you can ask if they would like to join a reading club for children that love literature, etc. Once you have given your child an opportunity to add some special time for their interest, they can mentally save a slot for it beyond school, and feel free to socialize with other children.

Emotional comfort and support

If you have a child with some kind of condition that makes them more emotionally charged and perhaps a little unpredictable by common standards, a support dog would be very helpful. Look on this website to find labrador puppies that are able to be easily trained to be support dogs. They offer children immense emotional support and help them get through very troubling anxiety and panic attack episodes. The website has plenty of detail regarding family history and breeding standards. It’s important that dogs are bred properly without any inbreeding or line breeding occurring. Fed and looked after properly, dogs will grow up with a cool calm temperament, which is needed for support dogs. Children with mental health concerns will frighten dogs that don’t have a grounded grip on their temperament, while support dogs will help to calm the situation down.

Give them confidence

Children that are shy almost always suffer from a lack of confidence. This is caused by many different factors but one of them is how you raise them. It’s important to not be too critical of children as they’re growing up, allow them to make mistakes and show them the right way instead of verbally berating or shouting at them. Children can also develop a shy streak when confronted by social situations. Having a chat with their teachers at daycare is vital to help them get over a lack of confidence. Daycare teachers will design lessons or activities for your child, in a way that will get the group of children to support your child. It could be publicly reading a book or showing a drawing and or painting they’ve done to the class and getting a round of applause. Something as simple as this has to be initiated by the parents, so give them the confidence to socialize and speak in public by not being too critical of their mistakes.

Striking a friendship

Finding a playmate close by in your neighborhood would help your child to be more comfortable around other children. Away from the classroom, children can play at home together to develop great friendships. Your child will let more of their personality out and not be shy of being themselves. Slowly but surely, your child will break down the mental barriers they have erected and come out of their shell with a close friend. 

But another thing you could try instead, depending on the age of your child, would be to schedule playdates; there are plenty of websites and apps for this purpose (and even local Facebook groups, too). You can get some nice toys for your little one, like Montessori climbing toys, and a play set outside, and maybe start scheduling some playdates. This is especially ideal if your child is a toddler. 

It’s important to not be too judgmental of your child as he or she grows up. Allow them to make mistakes but rather than tell them off, try to explain what they did wrong and why it’s not wise to do it. 

2020 Kimberly Signature

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1 Comment

  1. Very interesting, helpful article! I have one child who is very smart, but incredibly shy. My other child is a wild one and not afraid of anything! I often worry about my oldest child’s shyness and how it will affect him as an adult, hopefully, I can get him to come out of his shell a bit!

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