Fulfillment. It’s something that we all attain to have in our lives, something that we go about obtaining in different ways. For some, fulfillment is a life goal, that one specific item that they have worked their entire lives for. For others, it is seeking validation from others, to know that what they are doing matters to the world, that people are listening to them. Still others find fulfillment in the teachings of their Higher Power that guides their footsteps.
I am seeking fulfillment. I thought I knew what would make me happy. I thought I knew what I wanted out of life. I have goals, I have things that I want to accomplish in life, but they aren’t fulfilling me like I thought that they would.
“By my senior year, I had achieved everything that people were telling me would bring me fulfillment. Everything that I wanted to do and achieve while in college happened. And yet, I was still unfulfilled. Something was missing.”
“The one mere secret to attain[ing] success is to develop perseverance that could potentially be [a] component of your personality or characteristics. So to develop perseverance would be to stay powerful, have a positive mindset and overcoming your weakness that you simply are facing adversity which identify your success in life or in business. Nonetheless, the strong will only survive to overcome [the] adversity that is inside of you!”
There is a really good article at BibleStudyCD.com entitled Spiritual Fulfillment that was really dead on with what the pastor said this morning to us. Pascal (French Physicist and Philospher) said, “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man, which cannot be satisfied by any created thing, but only by God the Creator made known through Jesus Christ.” The article goes on to summarize:
When we find our fulfillment in the world, we soon discover that it is only temporary. Eventually we need more and find ourselves back where we started. Things get old, people fail us, accomplishments are forgotten, and the applause fades.
When we find fulfillment in God, it is complete and permanent. Being fulfilled in Christ frees us from craving fulfillment in the things of the world, and instead, releases us to give of ourselves without needing anything in return! [Because we know that God will provide all that we need]
I’m a confessed control freak. I don’t like having others control my life, I want to be the one in control of everything that happens. I hate asking for help, I feel ashamed and less of a woman when I have to depend on others to help me with a situation. I am the same way with God, with my relationship with Him. I do everything within my power (and then some) to try and handle situations on my own, and only in my absolute darkest hour, do I turn to him for comfort, guidance, support, and His grace.
My fulfillment has been based on things, people, statistics, comments, rankings – not on the one thing that should matter the most to me – obtaining my spiritual fulfillment with God through my faith and belief and my conversations with Him. I never like to refer to our conversations as “praying” simply because when I was growing up, I was bombarded at church with pray, pray, pray. Constantly asking God for forgiveness for our sins – and to me it seems like a one-way conversation. I prefer to “converse” with God, to talk to him as though he were sitting right next to me. Like I talk to you, my readers.
With the adversities that my family (extended family included) are facing right now, it seems like everything is just stacked against us, that it is time to just throw in the towel and call it quits. I keep telling my sister, “Don’t give up! Things will get better, things will work out for the best, just stay positive!” yet I don’t heed my own advice. I cried a river yesterday, was ready to throw in the towel and just give up. Every door I knocked on was slammed in my face with a resounding NO! GO AWAY! WE CAN’T HELP YOU! I worried and fretted and made phone call after phone call, email after email, all for naught. I stressed myself out so badly that it manifested into actual physical pain in my shoulder and my stomach – so much so that by last night I felt absolutely crippled with pain throughout my body.
I am always telling others, “Do what you can to take care of the situation for God helps those that help themselves, and once you have done everything that you can humanly do, turn it over to God and just forget it. If you have faith, even as small as a tiny mustard seed, God will provide all that you need.“
I lost sight of that. I lost my faith, my trust, my belief in God and his ability to handle anything. The Devil sits on my shoulder and whispers, “He can’t help you with the electric bill! He can’t help you get your finances in order! He’s just a figment of your imagination, you live in the real world, with real problems, He can’t fix this!” In my moment of weakness, I caved. I believed the lie instead of the Truth. I gave up, and the Devil racked my body with the pain of his lies.
Today is a different day. Today is a new beginning. Today is my faith and belief being renewed. I have a dear friend working to help with my situation. I have done all that I can humanly do, and I am having my conversation with God and I am asking him to forgive me, yet again, for falling victim to the lies and the deceit that the Devil brings on a silver platter. Regardless of how this earthly situation resolves itself, I know that God will provide all that my family needs.
My belief. My faith. That is what is I am allowing to fulfill me today.