Navigating a divorce is never easy, no matter the situation. It’s a time full of negative emotions and a lot of pain for everyone involved. But when you have kids and a family to think about, it’s important that they’re your main priority. The divorce shouldn’t get in the way of being a good parent and raising your kids properly.
We’re going to talk today about some of the tips and ideas that you might want to make use of if you’re currently navigating a divorce. Putting your kids first sounds easy, but there’s a lot that has to go into it from both parents when you’re navigating the ups and downs of divorce proceedings and the logistics that come with it. It is never an easy process.
Agree Together to Put the Kids First
The very first and most important thing you can do for your kids is to agree with your ex-partner that you’re both going to put the kids first. This simply allows you both to know that you’re on the same page and that you both have the same priorities with regard to the kids. There’s nothing at all wrong with talking to your ex about this and being civil about it. Even if there are issues between you, you should both want the same thing and both want to put the kids before anything else.
Embrace a Positive Mindset
Being positive and being positive around your kids is something that can help a lot. This is going to be a tough time for everyone, and your kids might be struggling. If you can be positive and try to put on a brave face while you’re around them, this should at least reassure them that there’s nothing to worry about. You don’t want to seem down and depressed around them because those negative feelings will almost certainly rub off onto them and you obviously don’t want your children to feel that way.
Get Support from Those Around You
You don’t have to go through all of this alone, although there is a degree of loneliness that many parents feel when they’re going through divorce proceedings. You no longer have your partner by your side, and that can be scary and different from a parental point of view. But there are other people around you who you can call upon for support. Your kids need support from the whole family, and so do you. So let your friends and family members support you as you go through this challenging time.
Keep Your Kids’ Routines Consistent
Keeping things as consistent as they always have been will be very important for your children. You’ll want to think about the routines that might help them keep things normal, even at a time when things aren’t very normal for them. Kids need that structure and they need to know what’s coming next and what to expect. That’s something that can often be missing when they go through a divorce because their routines go out of the window as the parents focus on other things.
Make it Clear the Divorce is Not About the Children
It’s always a good idea to do whatever you can to reassure your kids of everything that’s going on. You don’t want to let them worry that the whole issue might be their fault in some way when that’s obviously not the case. But kids can start to worry about those things if you don’t tell them otherwise. It’s much better to offer that clarity, even if it seems obvious to you. It might not be as obvious to your kids as it is to you.
Don’t Let the Legal Stuff Get Needlessly Messy
Letting the legal stuff get in the way of your ability to be a good parent is something that you never want to let happen. Of course, there are lots of legal wranglings in most divorces. But you can choose to make it a messy divorce or a straightforward one. Using a divorce concierge is usually the best idea if you want to keep things civil between you and your partner. There’s no need to make things messier and contested than they need to be.
Be Honest with Them Without Being Too Open with the Details
Being honest with your kids about what’s going on is definitely a good idea. Of course, you need to strike a good balance as well because you can’t tell them every detail of the divorce and what led to it. Some things are simply not good for kids to hear and those things should stay between you and your ex-partner. Nonetheless, they might have questions about what happens next and things like that; that’s when you need to be honest and open with them.
Form a Parenting Plan Early On
From a parenting point of view, having a plan in place for how all of that is going to pan out is going to be very important. You should try to make sure that you plan things in accordance with your ex as you need to be in agreement with regards to the parenting plan. You should share details and thoughts and be as civil as possible with each other when discussing these things.
Keep an Eye on Your Children’s Behavior After the Divorce
Children react in all kinds of different ways when they find out that their parents are getting divorced. It’s important to keep an eye on them and consider the various ways in which their behavior might change. If you do notice any changes, be sure to talk to them and ensure they don’t go off the rails too much.
As you can see, there are lots of things to think about from a parenting point of view when you’re navigating a divorce. As long as you keep in mind the needs and feelings of your kids while also looking after yourself, you probably won’t go too far wrong. And be sure to make the most of the information above.