I Am Stressing

I need to breathe.  Breathe deep.  I only slept about 4 or 5 hours last night, after staying up till almost 3:00 a.m. trying to get things done.  This is not what the Christmas season is all about, is it?  I shouldn’t be so stressed that I am almost in tears and practically shaking from the thought of all that I need to do – want to do – have to do. 

I doubt if there is going to be enough money to go around to get everything that the children would like for Christmas.  So I think it’s going to come down to just a few little things and that’s all we’ll be able to do.  There are doctor appointments next week, bills to be paid, and I am in my dark place where I just want to crawl in that little hole and pull the covers over my head and hide until its all over and done with.

I have Christmas cards still sitting here that have been addressed and sealed, but have not been sent, because I didn’t have the funds for the postage.  I tried to upload the Christmas CD that is included in all of the cards last night so that I could at least share that with all of my online friends that I had promised cards to – and I couldn’t even manage to do that without making a gawd awful mess.

My house is a mess.  I don’t know how it got that way – but it looks as though a hurricane came through in the middle of the night and just demolished everything – or perhaps its just my wigged out brain’s way of processing the clutter left behind by the children.  I won’t even mention what their rooms look like.  I am too tired to fight with them about their rooms.  I have talked and talked till I am blue in the face this week about getting their rooms clean – keeping their rooms clean – and it goes in one ear and out the other. 

So I feel as though I’ve let my children down, my friends down, myself down.  I had such plans for being organized and on top of my game this year – and here I am once again, with less than 48 hours to go – and haven’t accomplished an effing thing yet.

Next year will be different.  Come hell or high water – one way or another – I am not going to put myself through all of this again next year.  I’m not.  Christmas will be taken care of by the beginning of December so that I can sit back (like a normal human being) and enjoy the holiday season with my family the way that it should be.

A girl can dream anyway – right?

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About Kimberly Miller 3489 Articles
Kim is the CEO of Life in a House, proud mother to two great sons, and 2 beautiful granddaughters. She loves spur-of-the-moment road trips and weekend getaways to Norfolk and Virginia Beach. She has been blogging for over 17 years and focuses on family, home, and lifestyle topics. She loves hosting giveaways and putting together great gift guides for likeminded grands looking to spoil their grandkids. Her dream is to retire to a little cottage on the beach and spend her days collecting shells with her granddaughters.
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