Dear Lottery Goddess:
I went and purchased two tickets tonight for the Mega Millions lottery which is up to $130 million dollars. I’m not being greedy, hell, the only thing I’ve ever won in my life was a pair of movie tickets when I was 17 that I used to ask the farmer boy down the valley out on a date (thank you very much for that by the way. Have some great back seat memories…oh never mind that part). Oh, and I just recently won a $35.00 gift certificate from the Ultimate Blog Party over at 5 Minutes for Mom to shop at Crafting in Laymon’s Terms (which I cannot use till I have the $5 for shipping and handling charges…thankyouverymuch).
Why I Need to Win the Lottery
I am sick and tired of living paycheck to paycheck and never quite making it. I’m tired of telling my kids, “When we have the money we’ll try and get you some (insert necessities here – clothing, shoes, etc.)” and never getting the money.
I want to just be able to pay my bills, on time, keep a roof over my head, put food on the table, and live a life where I never have to worry about money again.
So what do you say? Can ya hook me up tonight or not? I mean, I don’t want to come hunt you down tomorrow and torture you or anything. It would be safer for you if you just send me a few million to keep me quiet. I know people who can hurt you. Bad. Seriously.