Lighting the Flame of Desire: Ways to Take Him from Flirting to Falling for You

Girls are often more patient than men, understanding it takes time to kindle a scorching fire.  However, after you’ve lit the flame how do you get him to begin liking you more and thinking about you more often?  Here’s how to take him from mere flirtation to a falling head-over-heels relationship.


Dress Well

Guys may not be fashion hounds but they notice a girl who can dress well.  Maintain your fingernails and toenails and do something stunning with your hair.  As far as attire, spruce up your style a bit, but don’t don anything too provocative, unless you want him thinking about nothing but sex.  Make him take greater notice of you.  That way you’ll be on his mind longer and his feelings will grow more powerful.

Flirt with the Eyes

Eye contact can be short and cordial or prolonged and sexy.  Make it a point to lock eyes with him.  This is especially effective when he’s across the room, talking to someone else, etc.  A lot can be said with a gaze.  Reserve your most flirtatious glances for him.  Make him feel like that gaze is not for anyone else.  Also, give him time to take in an eyeful of you.  Most guys get shy about gawking at women, so they wait until a gal is busy to get a really good look.  After doing some eye flirting, occupy yourself with a task or talk to someone else so he has a chance to steal looks.

Flaunt Your Positives

Plan to see him when he can observe you at your best.  For example, do you have a musical talent?  Ask him to come by just as you’re finishing guitar practice.  Alternatively, ask him to come dancing with you.  Show him that you really know how to move and feel comfortable on the dance floor.  You want him to think you’re exceptional so get him to see you doing something extraordinary.

Be Bubbly

It’s unlikely he likes you because you can be moody and reserved.  Be bubbly and vibrant when he’s around.  People are naturally drawn to others who are full of life and enjoy being sociable.  If it’s completely out of your comfort zone to be bubbly, be yourself.  The main point is to be increasingly gregarious and act more like the life of the party rather than a wallflower.  Also, as suggests, you don’t want to come across as needy.  Being bubbly means being independent and you take things as they come.

Hang with the Guys

Show him that you can be one of the guys.  Aspiring girlfriends often fail the friend test.  If you can’t hang with the guys, or worse, prefer him to reduce spending time with the guys, the relationship will not last long and it’s unlikely he’ll fall for you.  You don’t have to become their best friend, you just need to take interest in his friends and appear as if you intend on being their friend rather than just tolerate their presence and friendship with your love interest.  Just be sure to stay away from the friend zone.

Think Alike

Guys like girls who have similar interests.  Take notice of where he hangs out and make it a point to pop in and out of his favorite haunts.  Frequent ‘coincidental’ meetings gives him reason to see you more often and engage in more conversation.  If he begins doing the same and appearing at the places you take interest, then you know he’s starting to fall.

Prepare for Next Time

Take note of his likes, hobbies, and main interests.  Rather than bank on luck, be prepared for the next time you talk to him.  Research his hobbies and interests.  You don’t have to falsely admit you like the same things or partake in the same hobbies, but knowing enough to hold a conversation will peak his interest and fuel the flames of his interest. If you feel really adventurous, you could consider buying him a gift!

Be Kind

No one wants to date a mean person.  Even if you’re gorgeous, most guys will be turned off of being around a person who is not kind.  Do things like bring him his favorite candy snack, follow-up on things he tells you such as new job interviews, and be mindful of how you treat others when he’s around.

Mention Other Guys

You don’t want to play games with him yet it’s perfectly fine and healthy to make him a bit jealous.  Make a casual remark about guy ‘friends’ here and there and see how he reacts.  If he has minimal feelings for you, it won’t matter to him.  However, if he gets a little annoyed at the mention of other guys or downright jealous, then you know that what you have between the two of you is more than mere flirtation.

Sean Morgan writes about lust and love for a selection of lifestyle blogs for both men and women. He works as a relationship therapist and has a degree in psychology to help the language of love flow a little smoother between both sexes!

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  1. I am married but this still rings true…except for the mentioning other guys part! My husband and I have fallen in love over and over again throughout the years.

  2. Interesting post, and great advice! It actually makes me so glad that I am done with the dating part of my life! 😉 Thanks for sharing!

  3. I have been married for 39 years to a wonderful guy. I think sometimes we forget that the flame needs to be rekindled. Thanks for reminding me!

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