Getting up at 5:30 a.m. and spending an hour online before getting ready for work, then waking the kids up and getting them and hubby off to school / work, and then heading off to work myself. Normally I would also have something thawing for dinner or already in the crock pot simmering away to greet us all with tantalizing aromas when we walked in the door after a hard day at work. I’d come home, we’d do dinner, I’d wash a few loads of clothes, do some household chores, get everyone off to bed and then spend some more time online before going to bed myself.
The first to rise and the last to sleep – that’s about ALL that is the same.
I received an unexpected call this morning a little after 9 a.m. asking me to fill in for the day for a friend who was under the weather. I’m still sitting here in my pajamas, eyes barely focusing, no caffeine in my system yet. I hear myself saying, “Sure! I can help you out for the day, no problem!” while inside my brain is screaming at me, “Have you lost your ever-loving mind?”
So I throw on some clothes, put my makeup on, grab what I think I’m going to need for the day and head out after leaving the poor dog whimpering and all alone. She was well on her way to an anxiety attack before I took two steps out the door.
I arrive at the office, to do a job I’ve done before, so there is no anxiety, no major stress factor except to get caught up-to-speed on current rates and limitations and determining what is available and what is not. Answer the telephones? Check. Post updates to Craiglist? Check. Greet potential residents and obtain their information? Check. Market Survey? Check. The day went exactly as planned, not a hitch at all.
Then the kids came home from school.
First the 5th grader comes home, who is on punishment for the week. Well, since mom wasn’t at home, Dad decides to let him loose for the day so he can run around outside – enabling Dad to be able to keep an eye on him since I could not. Not a problem, except the homework still is not done, the chores have not been done, and I’m sure that a temper tantrum will ensue the minute I bring up the subject.
Then the 8th grader comes home, all in a tizzy because his custom-made Allied Shirts with his gamer name (Airyuh) t-shirt came today:
So naturally he’s acting all silly, as teenage boys do, and starts in on the 5th grader when he comes in the house. Nothing major, just the brotherly nit-picking that happens when there is too much teen/tween testosterone in the house.
So I finally get home. The laundry isn’t done. There’s nothing defrosted for dinner. The boys are sniping at each other, hubby is in a mood because the 5th grader gave him lip about coming in the house when he was told to. There ensues my raging headache.
I am exhausted. I don’t know if I could go back to doing this on a full-time, daily basis. I’ve become spoiled as a stay-at-home mom, working when I want, watching soaps and eating bon-bons when I want. The dog would most likely be hairless from the multiple anxiety attacks she would have from being left alone all day long when she’s known nothing but my constant companionship for the past five years that she has been with us.
I was of the mind set that all that I do, as a stay-at-home mom, was just as taxing, just as tiring, just as stressful, as being a working mom outside the home. It feels that way, some days. Perhaps I have just forgotten how to “make it all work” like I used to. Perhaps, if given the chance, I could do it all again.
Quite frankly though, I’m rather happy with not being a full-time working mom and just pinch-hitting when needed.
I don’t think my sanity could take it every day.