You Can’t Pick Your Family…

I’m going to ask your forgiveness in advance before even beginning this post. I have so very much on my mind that I want to share and get off my chest; however, to protect the innocent (or not-so-innocent) as the case may be, I won’t be mentioning any names.  Except my own.  Cause I’m a little crazy like that.

DSCN8506Where to begin!  First off is the ‘incident’ with the eldest son.  We’ve been attempting to give him a bit of ‘freedom’ since he is going to be 13 in November, so we have been allowing him to go places with his friends – off the property – and trusting that he would behave himself and make good choices.  All of that came to a screeching halt on July 2.  He had asked to go to a neighboring apartment community with three of his friends, and we said fine.  Most of his friends live and/or hang out there so, no problem.  Told him to take my cell phone and be home before dark.  By 9pm, no son.  We started to worry a bit and dad took the car and went searching while I traversed the property on foot searching.  No son.  By 10pm, I was beginning to worry and that knot of dread started forming in the pit of my stomach.  I knew something was wrong.  You know that feeling you get, as a mother, that somehow just instinctively tells you that there is something wrong with your child?  That’s the feeling I had.  It wasn’t the panic sense though … more like a ‘he’s in trouble somewhere’ feeling.

I was right.

Around 10:40 p.m. he arrived back home courtesy of a ride from the county’s finest.  Apparently the four of them had decided to go to a local store and do a bit of shopping with no money.  Long story short, the company (which has to deal with this sort of behavior every day and takes a no-tolerance stance on shoplifting) is pressing charges which means he is looking at fines, court costs, and community time to do as his punishment.  If he pays his fines and does his community service – then the incident will be removed from his juvenile record.  However; if he does not, it will remain on his juvenile record and if he is caught a 2nd time for the same offense, he will be spending time in juvenile hall for it. He was scared shitless. I don’t know if he was more scared of the entire experience and what is going to happen … or more scared of having to come home and explain to us what happened and what he had done. I consider it a lesson.  A friend of mine and I got caught doing the same exact thing from the local mall back when we were young and stupid and fresh out of high school.  Not having any money and wanting things will do that to you.  I told my son that he was not the first, nor would he be the last.  How he handled the situation and his actions in the future would determine how this incident affects his life.  I am hopeful that he will remember what happened and when the time comes again for him to join or leave a group of boys who are planning something like this again … that his decision will be to leave.

Going Stir Crazy

I am getting serious cabin fever.  I’m extremely cranky and waspish with all that I know, and it is making me the craziest wench on the planet at the moment.  I grew up camping in the summer with my parents … taking day trips to go to state parks and caverns and just exploring the world around us.  Not spending every single flipping weekend stuck in the house watching the man thing sleep … or sleeping the weekend away ourselves … or watching television and playing on the computer.  Much as I love my computer – I’m seriously starting to hate it.  Overkill if you know what I mean.  tent

I would give my left arm right about now to be enjoying a relaxing vacation in a cabin setting like this. So I’m researching … free things to do locally, checking the cost of renting an RV that we can take to the beach, checking out prices for bus routes and train routes for a trip home to Pennsylvania.  Bills are always going to be there – dead or alive – but you only get to go around on this merry-go-round once with your family … and I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit here and watch another year just disappear without us doing some things as a family. It’s gotten so bad that we’ve disconnected as a family.  Everyone eats on their own schedule, goes about on their own schedule, goes to sleep and wakes on their own schedule.  There is not one single thing (other than watching Friday Night Smackdown and Monday Night RAW for the boys) that we do as a family anymore.  That’s got to stop.  So come hell or high water, even if I have to trick them – this family of mine is going camping before the summer is out.

Family and Life

Dad, Jasmine, Jae-Lynn and Shane at HomeI worry about my dad.  With my sister unavailable and my brother working long hours and having a family of his own, he has nobody to talk to.  Dad says he hasn’t spoken with my brother since the house burned in October of 2011, because he doesn’t want to call him and bother him all the time.  That’s a shame.  So I’m trying to pick up the slack where I can, which isn’t always easy to do living 6 hours away.  I’ve been working out a way to get home to see him about once a month for at least three or four days and help him out with any paperwork he needs done, cleaning he needs done, medication refills, things like that.  Things that he can’t do for himself or just forgets to take care of. 

I try and call him every other day, although I fail miserably at that.  After so many years of just calling once a month or once every other month – its hard to set a new pattern – but I’m working on it.  He needs me, and I want to be able to be there for him.  He wants me to come home, I can hear it in his voice, but he’s too proud to ask me to come home … to tell me that he needs me to come and see him.  He has paperwork that he needs to get completed so he can start receiving his pension fund, but I can’t help him with that until we get some legalities taken care of.  I see, now, how difficult it is to care for a parent who is getting on in years long distance.  I haven’t even discussed the matter with the man thing yet … but I’m thinking that sooner, rather than later, it will become a necessity to be there for Dad.  I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that he would be willing to move with me and that it doesn’t tear my family apart.  I can’t very well move Dad down here with us, there is no room in our apartment.  He wouldn’t want to live in Virginia anyway – that I already know.  He’s never lived anywhere other than the valley – and that’s where he plans on staying till his final days.

600352_395779260469378_922304598_nThen there is my beautiful daughter … having to deal with a private hell of her own.  I can offer advice and assist in small ways – but there is only so much that I can do for her, and it breaks my heart when I think about it … but it makes my heart glad as well to see that she is taking it so well and finally living her life as I’ve wanted for her since she was a baby.  She has the best friends, a strong support system with them, and they have been keeping her busy when she is not working her tail off!  If it were within my power, they’d ALL be getting one hell of a bear hug right about now!

Finally, I’ve been spoiled – and now I’m having to get myself “unspoiled” again.  Our former neighbors above us moved out about a month ago.  While they had their rowdy parties now and again, for the most part, they were decent neighbors (if you don’t factor in the cough cough  *noises*  that we’d hear above our bedroom now and again … and again … and again) but they had to leave.  It was actually quite blissful to have nobody above us, nobody to worry about hearing me bless out the boys at full volume for their horrid rooms, no noises interfering with my television shows or my iHeart radio station on the computer.  Blessed silence.

Until last Saturday.  When the new neighbors moved in.  They haven’t even been here a week yet and I’m ready to call the office.  Constant banging and thumping, music was blaring the day they moved in that was so loud I just had to cut the television OFF – it was impossible to hear it with all the racket they were making.  I don’t want to be a bitch about it – because God knows we make enough noise ourselves down here sometimes – but I really wish that all new tenants to an apartment community were made to spend 1 day in an apartment where they had people living over top of them and could really grasp the situation and understand how annoying it can be when you don’t feel well and there’s no peace in sight for you in your own home.

With that said, I’m off to cook dinner and watch some television myself.  I’ve been on the computer most of the day redesigning our layout here, and I deserve some “me” time before the man thing wakes up and starts barking orders again.  He came home early from work due to an injury … so I’m sure he’ll be in rare form when he wakes up!  Have a great evening everyone … and I’ll see you tomorrow for Welcome Wednesday!

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